Original AD:
Antique Walnut Desk – $115 (Portland, Oregon)
Cute Antique Walnut Desk – Made in 1920’s
Contains 5 Dove-Tailed Drawers – All Function Well
Some Separation of Veneer From Drawer Front and Desktop – See Pics
45″ W x 17.5″ D x 31″ H
Keywords: oak, grain, drawers, boteh, refinished, condition, vanity, mirror, antique

Me:
I live in lent district. Near 82nd/Foster. Will you take $40 for the desk and have it delivered?

Seller:
Absolutely not

Me:
Why not? Is it the price?

Seller:
You are offering only 35% of the set price and delivery as well….This is not in my interest or time

Me:
It seems as you came up with random number as asking price. In that case, why not $1,000? I came up with reasonable labor+material+gas cost. I guarantee this will be in your best interest and efficient use of time. Not to mention, it may be a great upper body and leg work out. And you’ll get $40 you never had before. You said 35%. But, I’d say 100% profit when you started from $0. $40 of my money is better than no money from anyone. Reconsider my offer and let’s close this deal before. Your customer(me) is about to flush this deal.

Seller:
I find your offer and your reasoning presumptuous and preposterous I am done wasting my time with you. Your offer is rejected.
Go bother someone else.

Note to Self Always Measure Twice
http://www.channelate.com/2009/03/30/always-measure-twice/

Me:
It’s interesting that you think my offer is presumptuous and preposterous. I find your used furniture price strategy bit pretentious. Although, Apple and many businesses does that and they are rich.

Let’s look at this in different perspective, I should be getting paid for disposing your unwanted damaged furniture. You’d have to pay to get rid of that at the Waste Management dump site for around $10 – $20, without including the labor and gas cost. Now, you’re doing everything you’re doing as you would be delivering, on top of that you’ll be negative $20. That’s almost like I’m offering you $60.

Now, in your pretentious logic, you’d think $60 is 52% of your asking price. I’m afraid to tell you that you’re wrong. You’re about to profit over 200% of your investment. Let me give you a break down. You’d spend $20 for disposal cost. So, you’re negative 20 then you profit 40, which means you’re revenue must have been $60.

However, there was no real transaction of that 20 being trade in hand. So, it’s safe to assume you’ve used credit to make that investment. It may differ from angel investors, venture capitalist, or local loan shark rate. Let’s assume that you have over 800 FICO score with 0 previous debt which resulted in 11% credit card rate. You’d used that credit card for amount of $20 to pay to dispose the damaged furniture. However, you can only afford to pay the minimum monthly payment for next 24 months. That $20 is $22.37 at its maturity. I just saved you $22.37 and 2 years of unforgiving time and youth.

I hope now you’d reconsider my offer as it is my final offer.

$40 cash with delivery.

I want a desk for free with delivery.